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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a kids movie. Its a kids movie for adults, but still a kids movie first. This is not a dis, (if I were 8 or 12 years old it would be my favorite movie) rather fair warning that you’re getting a movie about giant, talking, wise cracking, turtles who happen do fight crime with martial arts. The Dark Knight it is not. So TMNT is a silly, ridiculous romp, but fun, like your six year old cousin trying to tell you a story that just gets more unbelievable the longer they keep talking. The acting lives up to this standard, not eye rolling bad, but wooden enough to fit the kids movie setting. (On a side note; what the crap happened to Megan Fox’s face? She’s still a pretty person, comparably, but now she’s just Megan Fox instead of MEGAN FREAKING FOX!) The story is silly and so full of whole that the only cheese on the turtles pizza must be Swiss (duh dum chiss). It actually could have stood to be a little longer, to slow the story down and develop it. Bottom line, TMNT is nostalgic, but I’ve outgrown it. Its funny and actiony enough to enjoy, but totally brainless and empty headed. You’ll feel dumber for having watched it. That said, you kids will totally love it. They fight a lot, obviously, but almost completely bloodless, and they say ass twice

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